


Leaving Ground

by youjik33



Category: 30 Rock, Arrested Development
Genre: Crossover, M/M, Office Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-10
Updated: 2014-02-10
Packaged: 2018-01-11 21:54:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1178365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youjik33/pseuds/youjik33
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For Porn Battle XV. Prompt: Any character played by Will Arnett/any character played by Will Arnett, repression, rivalry</p>
            </blockquote>





	Leaving Ground

**Author's Note:**

> Fandom and IMDB seem to want to spell it "Devon", but Netflix and 30 Rock's actual credits use "Devin", so that's what I went with.
> 
> Title stolen from song lyrics, as is my custom.
> 
> This might be the dumbest thing I've ever written. I say that while fully remembering that I wrote a Satan's Alley fic for Yuletide.

"I'm gonna stop you right there, Mr. Bluth," Devin said, raising his hand.

The other man blinked at him dumbly, pulled the knife from his mouth, and said "But I haven't finished. There's a really good part coming up with some mice-"

_The Final Countdown_ 's epic synthesizer continued to fill Devin's office. 

"Look, Gahb-"

" _Jobe_ ," the other man corrected.

Devin glanced down at the proposal, which definitely said "Gob", and how else would you pronounce that? Whatever. "...Gob. You've obviously got talent, and looks. I can't promise you'll get your TV special; I have to run it by the board first, but you've got my approval. Why waste any more time? I have forty-five minutes before my next meeting and I'd much rather spend it having you fuck me on my desk."

"...what?" 

"I'm gay and you're basically the hottest thing I've ever seen." For some reason Gob had unbuttoned his shirt pretty much as soon as he'd started his magic act, but Devin wasn't complaining; the guy was pretty ripped, all lean muscle, and there was something especially appealing about that little bit of dark hair on his chest.

"Are you implying that you won't okay my TV special if I don't sleep with you?" Gob asked slowly as Devin stood, coming out from behind the desk and leaning against it. 

"I told you, I'm already approving you." Devin shrugged. "Unless that's a scenario you'd be into? I can go with it."

"I'm not _gay_ ," Gob said, but his nervous laugh, and the way he unconsciously licked his lips while his eyes flickered down to Devin's crotch, seemed to indicate otherwise. 

Devin grinned. This was going to be fun. "Who said you were?" He shoved his hands in his pockets, putting on his best casually confident posture as he strolled across the space between them. "A strong, masculine, totally straight man is all that could possibly satisfy me." 

"Oh," Gob said. "Well, in that case..."

"Also I give great head."

"Really?" 

Devin put his fingers on Gob's G-shaped belt buckle, earning a sharp intake of breath. "Really," he assured.

"Okay then," Gob said, but Devin was already undoing the belt and making short work of the fly of Gob's pants – and he had to stifle a laugh when he tugged down the waistband, because who did this guy think he was kidding? No truly heterosexual man would be wearing electric blue Bjorn Borg boxer briefs.

Devin dropped to his knees, glancing up at Gob's face briefly – his eyes were wide, whether in fear, anticipation, or some combination of the two – before leaning forward to mouth Gob through his underwear. The other man was half hard already, and the touch made him moan and dig his fingers into Devin's scalp. If they'd had more time Devin would have dragged it out, teasing Gob, making him wait until he was begging for more, but he was very aware of how quickly an hour could slip by. 

Besides, Devin really did give great head. Maybe he was good at it because he enjoyed it or maybe he enjoyed it because he was good at it; either way, it was a skill he was always happy to demonstrate. Devin pulled Gob's ridiculous underwear down and showed him just what he could do with his tongue, and Gob made the most fantastic noises, strangled-sounding little grunts and groans.

Devin wished they had hours, because he'd love nothing more than to swallow Gob's load – or maybe unexpectedly snowball him, just to see how he'd react – but there just wasn't time. So he pulled back, letting his tongue linger on the smooth head of Gob's cock for just a moment more, and looked up, smiling at Gob's dazed expression. "So, you gonna do me, or what?"

He didn't wait for an answer, just pushed himself to his feet and went back to the desk, pulling a tube of lube and a condom out of the top drawer. Gob was obviously a man who had no idea what he actually wanted, and Devin figured the best way to keep him from bolting was to just not give him a chance to actually think about it. He glanced at the clock. They still had about half an hour. Perfect. He tossed the lube to Gob, and then the condom, and was mildly surprised that he caught them both. 

"Hurry up," he ordered, undoing his own belt, "and don't worry about being gentle." 

Gob shuffled closer, awkwardly holding his pants up with one hand. "So I just, uh..." He hesitated as Devin dropped his pants and bent over the desk. "I'm not sure this is really..."

"C'mon, stud, I know you're man enough," Devin said, winking over his shoulder. The taunt worked – Gob looked flushed and more than a little confused, but he uncapped the lube, and Devin gasped, breath fogging the smooth wood of the desk, as a slick finger pushed into him.

"Are... are you gonna leave your suit on?" Gob asked, his voice a little shaky. 

"I was planning on it, yeah." Devin groaned as the finger inside him moved.

"You're not worried about stains? I mean, that's gotta be like a $5000 suit, _come on_." 

"I've got more," Devin said, "and a great dry-cleaners, now will you shut up and fuck me already?" 

Gob swore under his breath at the condom wrapper for a minute, but then he was grabbing Devin's hip with one hand and pushing in. "Oh, yeah," Devin sighed, "just like that." There was nothing quite like that feeling of being filled up, and Gob's cock was the perfect size, stretching without being painful. He moved slowly, though, until Devin growled at him to "hurry up and stop being such a pussy about it".

"That's more like it," he gasped as Gob pounded into him, sending the pens in the metal holder on his desk rattling with every thrust. Hard and frantic was just the way Devin liked it, and Gob caught him by surprise when he wrapped his hand around Devin's cock. "Fuck," he gasped, coming way faster than he wanted.

"Fuck," Gob echoed, breathless, " _fuck_." 

Devin lay panting on the desk after Gob pulled out, turning his head to rest his cheek against the cool wood and watch Gob tie off the condom and throw it in the trash. He wiped his hands with a tissue from the box on the desk, and then furtively grabbed three more from the box, wadded them up, and threw them in the trash as well, as though hoping to hide the evidence. 

Devin finally stood, wincing a little (his back was going to be sore as hell later) and pulling his pants back on. "How long _is_ this song?" he asked as he tucked his shirt in, because _The Final Countdown_ was somehow still playing.

"Oh," Gob said, partway through buttoning his shirt. "It's on loop." His forehead furrowed suddenly, and he felt at the wrists of both sleeves. "...uh, I think I lost a mouse."

"If a janitor finds it, I'll make sure it gets mailed back to you." 

"Yeah, sure, thanks."

"Thank _you_ ," Devin said. "Seriously. Really livened up a boring-as-hell work day." 

"Yeah, no problem," Gob said. "Guess I'll just, uh, grab my stuff and get out of here." 

"I'll be in touch," Devin said, and then, because he was both feeling oddly fond of this guy and really wanted to fuck with his head, he grabbed Gob by the collar and kissed him. Gob surprised him one more time by kissing back.

\-------

Three days later – or was it four? They were all blurring together lately – Gob woke up in the middle of the day with a pounding headache and a voicemail from an unknown number. He checked it while brushing his teeth, slightly distracted by what looked like faded letters written in red lipstick on the mirror, but the gravelly voice caught his attention the instant it started speaking.

"Hey, Mr. Bluth... Gob. It's Banks." Gob vaguely remembered meeting that guy; he must have, he knew he'd done his pitch, anyway, but for some reason the details were hazy. "Soooo, I know this sucks, but we're gonna have to turn down your TV special idea. Turns out we already have a live magic show broadcast on the fall schedule. Some guy named Tony Wonder? But, hey, maybe you can try again next year. Anyway, it was a _pleasure_ meeting with you."

Gob barely even registered the way Banks' voice purred the word "pleasure". He was too busy narrowing his eyes at his reflection and muttering _"Tony Wonder"_ , as if putting all his anger into those words would give him some kind of power against his nemesis. 

Some day, Gob thought. Some day he'd have the upper hand for once.

Gob pushed a button, and the voicemail was deleted.


End file.
